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Want to Live Abroad Solo? Learn How to “Let Go”

How did I decide I wanted to live abroad solo? My friends at Cook’n with Class asked me to answer that question and write a guest post for their blog. Let me share the story with you.

When people say to me: “you’re so brave to move to France alone;” or “how could you venture off to a ‘foreign” country where you know no one;” or “how do you manage not speaking the language,” I’ve had to search for a way to describe how it happened.

As simply as possible, I say, I learned how to “let go.”

There are lots of things in life that tie you down. Raising children. Caring for an aging parent or a dependent family member. Poor physical health. A job. Not “enough” money. Those are all real issues that affect all of us at some time in our lives and any one of them makes it difficult for us to let go. For me those constraints were behind me. My boys were raised, my parents were deceased, I was divorced and I was retired. As for “enough” money. I had to figure that one out. Really? What is “enough?”

What’s “enough?”

Live abroad soloDetermining how much money I needed, how much space I wanted, and exactly where I was going to live were vital to know. When I discovered that I could live in France in a lovely place and space, and that I could live for less than in the US – and better — I let go of “will I have enough.”

Too much “stuff”

Once I decided I could live abroad, I had to deal with my “stuff.” Believe me, I had a lot of stuff from 40 years of housekeeping and from being a compulsive buyer and collector. It should have been harder but it was pretty easy to get rid of things after I’d made up my mind. I knew I didn’t want the hassle of moving things to France so I imposed on my son, and some very good friends, and we held an estate sale. In two weekends everything I owned was gone — except for a few small items now in storage in South Carolina. Interestingly, most of those bits and pieces belonged to my mother.

Living abroad solo means saying “goodbye” to family and friends

If you think moving abroad means you’ll never see your family and friends again, you won’t go. From experience I can tell you. You will keep in touch with those who mean the most to you. In fact, living abroad, you’ll be surprised how much family and how many friends you have. I’ve entertained and enjoyed guests I haven’t seen or heard from in 50 years. They’ve come to visit me in France.  Others stay in touch through social media, telephone, email and Facetime. We’re probably more connected now than ever before.

 

The best news about friends is that you make more -– from all over the world.

Grandchildren are another matter. My adorable grandbabies didn’t exist when I left for France. My son and daughter-in-law blessed me with a grandson three years ago and a granddaughter last year. Those two pull my heartstrings.  Every week, or more often, we talk on Facetime. It’s mostly because of them that I visit back to the US. They’re growing so fast and I don’t want to miss their childhood. So I plan, I budget, and I promise myself I’ll see them twice a year in person.

 One step at a time

For me, “letting go” meant I had to have a goal. I had to sit down with myself and face my fears. What was holding me back? Once I acknowledged the obstacles, I worked on them, one by one. Visa? Apartment rental in France? French bank accounts? Everything fell in place. Just by letting go and taking one step at a time.

“You can do it.”

Live abroad solo

Duche in Uzes on a summer Tuesday night

Live abroad solo

19 replies »

    • Thank you my friend. I owe you an email to catch up. It’s busy here! Hope you’re having fun, too.

    • What a beautiful and sensitively written article – also practically discussing the issues which I feel hold back many who would like to take the plunge and do what you have done. When we face our fears/reactions/long held values and hold them up to the light they are often paper thin – and ready to be discarded. Such a pleasure to have met you in Uzes – and I look forward to many more Aperitifs in Uzes. Julie.

      • Julie, I’m flattered and so glad to hear from you. You and Andrew are two of the special people I’m so glad have come into my life. It’s been worth every fear and frustration. I’ll miss you but hope you’ll be back more often that you think.

  1. I am so full of admiration for you! I house swap here in Uzes and have one of the four weeks alone. That feels huge to me yet you upsticked and moved! Reading your blogs it sounds like you have quickly made lots of friends. I am thinking of signing up for a cookery course one day – do you have any other suggestions?

    • Rachel, thank you! It’s interesting what one can do if you just put your mind to it. Uzes continues to be a great place to live. They are setting up the Tuesday evening market below my windows as I’m writing. There’s always more than enough to keep one busy. Making friends has been a blessing. I definitely agree you should take at least one cooking class. I love both Cook’n with Class and Le Pistou Cooking School. They are so unique you just have to try them both. Let me know if you need help making a contact. Although … there are posts with lots of informations. Have fun!

    • Thanks for being one of the ones who has made my “solo” life here so much fun. It wouldn’t be the same without you and Paula!

    • Thank you, Liza. It continues to be an incredible journey. I’m so glad for whatever it is that delivered me here. Now I just wish there were more hours in the day and more days in my life. I’m so happy to connect with you, too. I love your books!

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